


slow dancing on the soap box

by misura



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Jupiter Ascending (2015)
Genre: Gen, Podfic Available
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 05:29:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5855998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Oh my God. Don't you guys clean this place? <i>Ever</i>?" (Jupiter and Caine aboard the Milano)</p>
            </blockquote>





	slow dancing on the soap box

"Oh my God. Don't you guys clean this place? _Ever_?"

Quill looked a little flustered. Attractive female of a species with whom he seemed to be biologically compatible: probably should've seen that coming. "It's not that bad."

"It's bad," the other latest addition to their merry little band said. He seemed not to approve of Quill getting too close to the female, which was just adorable. Rocket might puke.

Alternately, it might come to a fight. Happy thought, except that Quill would probably lose, given that he was just a humie, not some genomgineered super soldier.

"I am Groot."

_Look, a distraction!_ Wise (oh, the irony!) obligingly turned around. He could afford to, of course; he'd probably both hear and smell it the moment anybody else moved, regardless of whether or not he could actually see them. "What's _he_ saying?"

Rocket bared his teeth. " 'Try lifting a leg in my direction and you're dead'." If only.

Wise flushed. Groot blinked at Rocket a little reproachfully. "I'm not a dog."

"Yeah, yeah, you're a lycantant. Part wolf. I'm sure we're all very impressed, Fido."

"Well, I'm a _little_ impressed," Quill said. "I mean, those are some pretty sweet boots."

"They're not for sale." Wise turned slowly, until he'd reached a position where the female was in his direct line of sight again. Subtle, he wasn't, but then, he was still part human. "And neither are we."

"Nobody's talking about selling you, Fleabag." That one got even less of a reaction than 'Fido' had. A challenge, clearly. "I mean, it's not like you're important or anything, is it? Not like someone'd be willing to shell out a whole lot of money for you and her, dead or alive?"

Someone was, of course. The question was why. Rocket could've lived with the mystery. Possibly, he could even have lived with missing out on a couple thou for not investigating.

Quill, though - well, humans, eh? Stupid idiots, all of them.

"My real name is Jupiter Jones," said the female. Named after some obscure, uninhabitable little planet; her parents must have had some high expectations. Might as well call your kid Garbage and spare her a bit of embarrassment. Small wonder she was going by some fake name.

Wise looked deeply unhappy. "You should address her as 'your majesty'." Where for 'unhappy', read: 'eager for an excuse to tear someone's throat out with his bare teeth'. He probably was capable of doing it, too; Rocket was able to experience the emotion, but _he_ hadn't been bred for combat.

"Your majesty?" Quill looked flabbergasted. "What, you're - "

"I am Groot."

"I'm looking, I'm looking." Having the female's real name would help figuring out why there was a bounty on her head, presumably. "Oh. Yuck. She's one of _those_?"

"She's _not_ ," Wise snapped. "She's _different_." Naturally, he'd want to believe so.

Quill looked mystified.

"House of Abrasax. Bunch of megalomaniacs with delusions of ruling the universe." Rocket snorted. Slightly dangerous megalomaniacs, of course; not a good idea to annoy them too much.

"Oh." Quill's expression suggested puppy could rest easily. "Them."

"Knowingly or not, you're probably being paid by one, too," Wise said.

"I am Groot."

"Yeah." Rocket glared at Quill. "I _told_ you we should've asked for more than 20% in advance. But nooo, we had to do it your way."

Quill shrugged. "We'll keep the money for expenses. Sounds fair to me, right? I mean, we did invest substantial amounts of time and effort into finding Miss Jones and her friend."

Wise looked disgusted, which was rich.

"Give me half, and I'll see what I can do about this mess in the next three days."

"What? No!" Not a happy doggie. Not calling her 'your majesty', either. Maybe he saved that for when they were alone.

"We need the money." The brains of the operation, clearly. At least her brawn had a vocabulary of more than three words, though. "And it'll give me something to do."

"Ten percent," Rocket said quickly, before Quill could do something stupid.

"Forty." Wise, not Jones.

"Fifteen." A lot of money, but still worth it. Rocket might not have a dog's sense of smell, but that didn't mean he enjoyed seeing the same foodstains at every meal.

"Twenty-five." Jones, not Wise.

"Deal. And, you know, if you really _are_ different ... " She probably was, at least when it came to her hobbies.

"What?"

"We're still not going to help you get out of whatever trouble you got yourself into." Rocket threw a significant look at Quill, their very own bleeding heart. "No way, no how. Got that?"

Wolfboy wanted to snarl he and Jones didn't even _want_ their help, Rocket could see it on his face, but Wise didn't actually say anything, meaning there were, in fact, a couple of brain cells firing in that head of his.

"Got it," Jones said. She even kept a straight face as she said it.

"I am Groot."

Rocket sighed. "Yeah. C'mon, I'm gonna check some of those new guns we got last week." He had a feeling he might get to use them sooner rather than later.

Ah well. He did live for life's small pleasures.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic] slow dancing on the soap box](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12463674) by [bessyboo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bessyboo/pseuds/bessyboo), [exmanhater](https://archiveofourown.org/users/exmanhater/pseuds/exmanhater), [reena_jenkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reena_jenkins/pseuds/reena_jenkins), [Shmaylor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shmaylor/pseuds/Shmaylor)




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